Each person has a unique personality, shaped by their history, values and environment. In our daily interactions, we meet individuals who are well-intentioned, supportive and empathetic, but we also come across people who act in a manipulative, cold or even malicious way. Spotting a bad person is not always easy, especially when you first meet them.
However, there are subtle signs that can help us identify dishonest intentions from the outset. Paying attention to gestures, the way someone speaks, their gaze or how they treat others can give us clues about their true nature. A sarcastic or condescending tone of voice or gestures such as crossing your arms hostilely or invading someone’s personal space can indicate mistrust or covert aggression.
In addition, a lack of empathy, such as mocking others’ suffering or minimising their feelings, is often a key sign. A study by Psychology Today asserts that the quality of malice is one of the three defining characteristics of psychopathy, the personality trait characterised by a lack of remorse, an inability to feel empathy and a certain amount of cruelty. To identify someone like this, it is useful to listen more than talk, observe how they act when they are not the centre of attention, and notice whether their words match their actions. Being alert does not mean distrusting everyone, but learning to protect ourselves emotionally from the beginning of any relationship.
Signs to identify a bad person from the outset
They speak badly of other people
If you barely know someone and they start criticising or mocking people who are not there, this is a big red flag. It shows a lack of loyalty, a need to create drama and little empathy.
They constantly interrupt
People with little consideration for others often don’t let others speak, interrupt to impose their opinion, and rarely listen actively. This reveals a self-centred or domineering personality.
Evasive or overly intense gaze
A look can say a lot. Constantly avoiding eye contact can indicate insincerity, while a challenging, penetrating, or intimidating gaze can reveal aggression or a desire to control.
Lack of empathy
If you notice that someone does not care about how others feel, makes hurtful comments or downplays other people’s suffering, they are probably not someone you can trust.
Excessively friendly or charming behaviour
Manipulation is often disguised as friendliness. Some people are overly charismatic at first to quickly gain your trust. This can be a strategy to control you later on.
Passive-aggressive comments
Phrases disguised as ‘jokes’ that seek to humiliate, belittle or question your decisions are a sign of emotional toxicity.
Hostile body language
Crossing your arms, maintaining a dominant posture, invading your personal space or using facial expressions of judgement or disdain can be signs of non-verbal aggression.
They seek to control the conversation or impose their point of view
Controlling people always need to be right. They are not interested in debate, but in convincing you that you are wrong or that their truth is absolute.
Sudden changes in attitude
A clear sign of emotional instability or manipulation is a sudden change in attitude: a person who goes from being friendly to hostile for no apparent reason may be showing their true colours.
They play the victim
Toxic people tend to present themselves as victims in everything. They blame others for their problems, avoid personal responsibility and seek to generate pity in order to manipulate emotionally.
Tips and recommendations for detecting or correcting these attitudes
Knowing how to recognise these signs is essential for protecting yourself. Here are some practical tips for avoiding falling into dynamics with emotionally harmful people, and also for reflecting on whether you are displaying any of these attitudes without realising it.
Trust your intuition
Intuition is a powerful tool based on thousands of signals that your brain picks up without you realising it.
Avoid revealing personal information too quickly
Do not give intimate details to people you barely know. If someone has bad intentions, they can use that information to manipulate or judge you.
Observe how they treat others
Beyond how they treat you, observe how they treat waiters, colleagues, strangers or even animals. People with bad intentions often show their true colours when they believe no one is judging them.
Set boundaries from the start
If something makes you uncomfortable, say so. How a person reacts to a clear boundary tells you a lot about their level of respect and emotional maturity.
Work on self-awareness
Sometimes, we reflect what we tolerate. If you are attracted to problematic people, it’s time to ask yourself why. Therapy or personal development can help you identify harmful patterns.
Pause and think before getting deeply involved
Give yourself time to get to know someone before considering them trustworthy. True intentions are revealed over time and through difficult situations.
